Kurt's Grandma
by Lord Dionysus
Summary: Kurt's birthday is coming and everyones excited. What's even more exciting is Grandma Ellawese is flying down from london to visit. The problem is she doesnt know he's gay and whats worse in panic Kurt says Santannas his girlfriend.
1. Chapter 1

Kurt's Grandma:

**I love Chris Colfer's idea of Julie Andrews playing Kurt's Grandma so this is my story of that episode if it happened.**

Kurt's birthday was this weekend and all of Glee was excited.

"Puck I have a problem" Finn said to his best friend in a low tone.

"Dude, just put some ice on it" the Mohawk boy informed uncomfortably.

" No man, my problem is I don't know what to give Kurt for his birthday" Finn explained. Puck was relieved

"Oh. Why don't you just get him what you get me for my birthday"

"I don't think an action movie and a copy of Jugs would be Kurt's idea of a present." Said Finn in an exasperated tone. It was then that Kurt and Blaine came in the room.

"You worry to much," cooed Blaine

"I do not. I worry the exact amount" Kurt replied indignantly.

"What's wrong Bro?" asked Finn

"Kurt's nervous about seeing his grandmother tomorrow." Blaine answered. Kurt gave his boy friend a glare that could peel wallpaper.

"Is she scary?" asked Brittany

"No Britt. I'm just nervous because I haven't –" Kurt cut himself off.

"Haven't what Kurt?" It was Tina's turn to ask questions. Kurt sighed.

"I haven't told her I'm gay," Kurt revealed.

"How could she not know is she blind?" Asked Santana.

"No Santanna" Kurt hissed.

"I mean just looking at you screams gay" the Latina added.

"Thank you Santanna" Kurt spoke sarcastically.

"Your voice alone-"

"Thank you Santanna!" Kurt cut the ex

-Cheerio off with a somewhat elevated tone of annoyance.

"Kurt if your dad could take it I think your grandmother would understand to" Rachel encouraged. Kurt smiled at this.

"And you can show off your kick ass boyfriend" Blaine teased as he wrapped his arm around Kurt.

"Hold on their Skippy It's going to take her a bit to process that her grandsons gay. I think telling her I have a boyfriend will be an overload." Kurt explained.

"Kurt your going to have a fun birthday with cake and presents and all of us don't worry about tomorrow and enjoy the today." Mercedes smiled. Kurt returned her cheerful demeanor.

" How do you girls know the right things to say?" Kurt asked.

"Its all part of the gay guy and hag friendship" Quinn teased.

"I mean seriously how can she have no clue" Santanna cut in.

"THANK YOU SANTANNA!" Everyone said in unison.

**Hope you like so far part 2 up soon**


	2. The arrival and the Lie

The Arrival and the Lie:

Kurt waited impatiently for his Grandmothers arrival. Burt went to pick her up 20 minutes ago. The tall soprano felt his heart quicken and his thoughts spinning in his head. Kurt couldn't understand why he was so scarred. This was his grandmother for crying out loud. He wished Blain was beside him but Blaine had to work and wouldn't be at Kurt's house till dinner. He went over his coming out speech for his grandmother over a dozen times, then was cut off when he heard Burt's truck pull into the driveway. He peeked in-between the paste white blinds to see Ellawese getting out of the driver seat, looking fashionable as always. She was wearing the blouse Kurt bought her last Christmas and she decorated it with a ruby broche. Burt was talking to Ellawese and everything he said she laughed happily in return. Kurt could hear as Burt opened the door,

"Here we go Ella and look who is already hear to greet you." Kurt immediately smiled a toothy grin as his grandma came through the door

"Theirs my wonderful Grandson." She said this with a British accent that was so rich it could be fattening.

"Grandma I've missed you so much" Kurt responded as he embraced her.

"And I you dear. I'm so sorry I haven't visited sooner but I've been so busy with work." Ellawese apologized. Finn and Carroll came from the kitchen. Finn looked a little nervous. Burt introduced Carroll. Kurt thought it would be awkward for Carol, meeting the mother of the first wife and all, but to his surprise and pleasure they warmly hugged and talked briefly.

"This is my son Finn" Carroll introduced Ellawese to Finn.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. RavensDale" Finn said politely.

"Oh please Finn call me Grandma or Elle if your more comfortable" The older woman hugged her step grandson and he reciprocated the gesture happily.

"Come into the parlor grandma, I made tea and black berry scones" Kurt informed.

"Kurt you spoil me," Ellawese said as she kissed his cheek. Everyone went into the parlor, except Kurt and Finn. Finn had asked Kurt to wait a minute so he could ask his stepbrother a question.

"It doesn't bother you if I call your Grandma Elle or just Grandma does it?"

Kurt chuckled,

"Of course not Finn, theirs plenty of that wonderful woman for the both of us."

"Cool, but when arte you going to tell her your gay?" Kurt listened to his stepbrothers question and the butterflies were resurrected in his stomach.

"When I get some alone time with her" With that they both walked into the parlor.

Everyone had fun talking about various points of interest. Ellawese had told Kurt about the fashion shows she had went to recently and he talked to her about Glee club. Finn, Burt and Carroll went to prepare the rest of dinner while Kurt and Grandma Ellawese continued to talk.

"I'm very pleased you are singing Kurt. You inherit that from your mother and I" Ellaweese said as she sipped her tea.

"More lemon?" Kurt asked.

"No thank you dear." His grandmother responded.

"Grandma theirs something you and I need to discuss" Kurt was nervous.

"Is their something wrong Kurt? Ellawese asked. Kurt had never been more nervous in his life.

"Well the thing is..." Kurt started playing with his fingers, which he usually did when he got like this. As he went to open his moth to speak he could

Hear the front door open and close. Santanna and Brittany appeared each carrying a box.

"Hi Kurt we came to drop off some decorations for your party" Brittany explained cheerfully.

"Yah, ware do you…" Santanna was cut off and shocked when Kurt interrupted.

"I wanted to tell you about my girl friend… this is her, Santanna Lopez." With that Kurt kissed the confused Latina girl on the cheek.

"Uhhh…hello" Santanna said nervously as she Hugged Kurt's grandmother.

30 minutes later:

Santanna was brushing her hair at Kurt's vanity, Brittany was laying on Kurt's bed watching a cartoon and Kurt was pacing back and forth.

"I just lied to my grandmother" Kurt said to himself franticly.

"I've done a lot of things some would judge as wrong (air quotes) call Quinn's child a lizard baby, making fun of Sam's trouty mouth but I would never lie to my grandmother, that's a one way ticket to hell" Santanna spoke, keeping her eyes on her reflection. Kurt scowled at his fake girlfriend.

"Your very lucky San. Your dating royalty." Brittany said as she took her eyes off an episode of chowder.

Kurt gave Brittany a confused look.

"Brittany I'm not royalty" Kurt said. The blonde girl frowned then asked the boy "Then why does Santanna keep calling you a queen?" Santanna didn't dare look at Kurt for fear of his infamous fire and brimstone stare.

"I have better things to do then give Santanna a death stare." Kurt muttered.

"I think their something else you should worry about Kurt." Santanna turned to face her fake boyfriend.

"And that would be?" Kurt asked as he sipped his ice tea.

"How are you going to explain your fib to Blaine?"

Kurt dropped his glass.

**Part 3 up soon**


	3. How to tell your boyfriend

How to tell your Boyfriend:

Kurt opened the front door. Blaine stood on the porch with a big smile on his face and a bouquet of peach colored roses, Kurt's favorite flower.

"Oh now you've made this even harder." Kurt sighed.

"What's wrong? Blaine asked. Kurt took his boyfriends hand and walked him up the stairs into his room where most of New Directions was residing.

" I did something bad" Kurt answered as he closed the door. His eyes were apologetic and he had the pouty lip that usually ensnared Blaine.

"What could be so bad that you have to resort to the lip?" Blaine smiled. Kurt's explained everything to Blaine who only stood there and listened with no sense of anger. There was a pause after Kurt's story.

"Oooh he's going to get it" Lauren whispered to Puck.

"My moneys on Kurt, the height advantage and all" Puck responded. Blaine opened his mouth,

"Here it comes "Kurt thought.

"I'm not mad Kurt" Blaine said.

"Your not"

"Nope. I can understand you had a hard time with this, though I don't like fibbing of any kind I'm happy you didn't lie to me." Kurt was relieved to hear these words.

"I just don't know why you'd say Santanna was your girl friend that chicks insane."

"Uh Blaine"

"She's even more vicious then Freddy Kruger "

"Blaine I…"

"Let me finish Kurt. As I was saying she has a dragon lady temper. Hell, she'd put Maleficent to shame"

"BLAINE" Everyone shouted.

"What?" It was then Blaine felt two fingers tapping at his shoulder. He cautiously turned around and in his horror was face to face with Santanna. Blaine wanted to open his mouth to speak but Santanna cut him off.

"What you just said were some of the …nicest things anyone has ever said about me." Santanna gave Blaine a hug much to his disbelief.

"Don't worry about your boyfriend sir gels a lot, he's in the top bitches hands," she added as she patted him on his cheek. It was then loud foot steps could be heard. Kurt's bedroom door swung open revealing a pissed Mercedes.

"Kurt Elisabeth Hummel I'm going to kill you" She stormed into the room getting within head butting distance of her taller best friend.

"How come I'm not your girl friend if anything it should be me" She scowled.

"Yeah and if it wasn't her it should have been me" Rachel chimed.

" She may have liked you for a week but I was the one who had a crush on you from second to fifth grade…" Everyone stared at a red with embarrassment Rachel. Finn looked the most surprised.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Santanna said as she flipped through a magazine nonchalantly.


End file.
